California, like many states, is having a water crisis. It isn’t as bad as predicted this year, so they lifted the mandatory water rationing and simply asked us to cut back. Jim and I are pretty good with our water conservation. One of the things I traded was to shower only 3 times a week in order to flush the toilet every time.
Recently, I found I needed to give this little lecture to the boys who believe in “if it’s yellow, let it mellow.” The lecture goes like this: I can tell you are boys. Let me tell you as a girl whose plumbing is far more open than yours; it is not nice to use a toilet where the yellow has been mellowing – even for a few minutes. Splashing – yuck!
I know, I know – urine is supposed to be sterile. It is, if it’s just come out of the body and if it goes into a sterile receptacle. But as an old medical technologist who worked in the Urinalysis department, urine that sits around in a container like a toilet is a wonderful environment for stuff I don’t want splashed on my lady parts.
So, if worse comes to worse and we must let it mellow, I’ll squat and get as far away as possible. In the meanwhile, please flush.
Breathing: Do the standing breathing for 5 minutes. Then proceed to the stretches you learned last week. End up with Pretzel Man movements where you move in random ways—sometimes like a pretzel and other times open like a tree.
Appreciation: Continue your daily appreciation list and adding to the list about your partner. Look at your whole life and list the people who were instrumental in helping you discover yourself. If possible, give them a call or write them a note telling them how you turned out and thanking them for their part in the evolution of you.
Journalling: Write your daily pages. Write about what you think is your life purpose. How you are living it now, how you will begin expressing it. If you need help with this, see Life Purpose in the Monthly Focus section.
Walking: This is the goal—walk briskly for 30 minutes. Continue finding things to appreciate and noticing the changes that are happening around you.
Self Nurturing: Create an Inspiration Box. Cut out pictures of things you love to look at. This doesn’t mean you have to have them, but it might be something on your wish list. For example, I love the Mission style furniture from Restoration Hardware. I don’t have to have it, but looking at it reminds me of how much I appreciate the craftsmanship in that furniture and how I like the orderliness and clean lines. I have a picture of that furniture in my Inspiration box. The purpose of an Inspiration Box is to expand your ability to think bigger. Don’t look at the contents of the box more than every three months—the idea is to identify things you like, not to mourn over not having them.
Breathing and Stretching: Continue the standing breathing in the same manner for 5 minutes and when the time is up, start doing some stretching.
With one hand, reach high above your head as though you are picking an apple off a high branch. Alternate arms with each deep breath.
After reaching 5 or 6 times, switch to reaching out to the side—leaning right or left as you reach.
Stand upright and extend your left arm. While looking left, draw your right arm across your chest and pretend you are shooting a bow and arrow. Do this movement 3 or 4 times then change directions to do it on the right side.
Appreciation: Continue your appreciation list. Here’s an interesting exercise, Look at some things you haven’t like in your life and see what you can appreciate from them. For example, I thought I had found the perfect job. I loved what I was doing, I really liked the people I worked with and I was making far more money than I ever dreamed possible. Eventually I learned my boss was a crook and I simply had to leave. What a drag. I was giving up a lot. What I can see now is that because I forced myself out of the nest, I had the opportunity to create the perfect job. I ended up working at home, being my own boss, and making even more money than before.
Each day this week, look at a different situation in you life (including your childhood) and find the silver lining. You’ll be surprised at how many times you have made lemonade out of lemons.
Journalling: Write three pages each day. Write about how you want your life to be in 5 years. Create a vivid picture of where you’ll live and work, who your friends are and what you are doing with them. Imagine your family in five years, how will all of you turn out.
Walking: Walk for 25 minutes every day. If you are doing what I do and are walking to run errands, be sure to take along a back pack so that your arms are free to swing on your return trip. Carrying extra weight is a great way to get more cardio-vascular exercise.
Self Nurturing: Go through your closet and put everything you have not worn in the past year in a bag or box. Write the date on the box and the Due Date one year from now, that’s the date you will give the box away without looking in it. You may raid the box in the intervening time; it’s OK to put something back into circulation. The best part about this exercise is how spacious your closet becomes. This may start you on a whole program of decluttering your house!
Breathing: Continue to breathe for 5 minutes but now do it standing up. The movements are the same except for your arms. The belly expands and contracts as you rock your pelvis. You look up on the inspiration and down on the expiration. When you breathe in, open you arms wide like a bird spreads its wings. As you breathe out, close your arms across your chest and hug yourself.
Appreciation: Continue your appreciation list. This week, get some postcards or blank greeting cards, and write three notes of appreciation to people who have done something particularly nice for you in the past 6 months.
Journalling: Increase your journalling to 3 pages (6, if they are half sheet size.). This week explore beliefs you had as a child and see if they are still valid for you as an adult. In my life, I believed I was the one responsible for making my mother happy. If she was upset, I thought I caused it. If she was overjoyed, I got to feel like I had created that. Now, I realize my mother is responsible for how she saw the world and my responsibility was to be the best I could be for me.
Walking: Walk for 20 minutes daily. As you walk find something new to appreciate each day. This is especially important if you always walk the same route. Pay attention to your surroundings and notice changes—Mrs. Jones painted her fence, the daffodils are up, the leaves have stared to turn yellow.
Self Nurturing: Cook a meal or go out for dinner and have exactly what you want without regard to the cost or what others want. Make this a meal that just for you.
Also, congratulate yourself for taking such good care of your self by doing this program. No matter how perfect you’ve been, every effort you’ve made has been something for you, something to nurture you! After all, if you don’t do it, no one else can.
I don’t know what’s come over me. I have never been very interested in computer games, be it Solitaire, Myst, online Scrabble, or even Bejeweled, which I have played more than several times, but not for months, or maybe even years. However, last week a friend told me about Farm Town on Facebook and I’ve been captivated – maybe even addicted.
I found myself dashing to my computer after an evening out and harvesting a few crops. Then I thought, “If I plow and plant now, I’ll have a head start on the next crop.” So I did. Then I went to bed and noticed that I felt happy – even tickled. What has come over me?
You know, usually when I write one of these blog entries, I don’t know where it will go. I just know the topic and start writing. This is no exception…even now, I don’t know what I’m going to say next. What has come over me?
I think it has something to do with having more fun. That’s something that’s been problematic for me. Fun. What’s that? I know enjoyable and satisfying but fun? I’ve always been a little embarrassed when I’m having fun—especially if I laugh a lot. It seems like I’ve always gotten in trouble when I laugh, and it’s so fun to laugh. Maybe that’s why I was so taken with that Bodhisattva in the Metro video – the laughter was infectious. And truth be told, I really do love to laugh.
But Farm Town doesn’t make me laugh – it’s a deeper sense of joy I experience. And I can’t believe I am writing this about a computer game, but I also can’t deny how I feel. And so, I’m going to continue to feel this and see if my life expands in some way. Surely that’s what feeling joy is all about – life is good.
OK that feels like what I’ve been moving toward. Life is good and I get to move things around on the computer screen in a way that feels engaging, purposeless, and interesting and I get to feel clever, creative, and … happy.
Breathing: Continue breathing for 5 minutes a day. As you breathe and rock and allow your shoulders to open and close, add one last movement (which you may already be doing naturally) As you breathe in, look up or at least tilt you head back (you may have your eyes closed). As you breathe out, tilt your head forward, bringing your chin to your chest.
The spine has two natural curves, one at your waist and one at your neck. (Do I need to mention this curve is front to back as opposed to the side to side curve of scoliosis?) This breathing exercise enhances the flexibility of these curves which greatly improves the function of your nervous system. Every cell in your body is affected by the health of your spine because all the nerves begin with the spinal cord which is housed and protected by your spine.
Appreciation: Continue creating your appreciation list each day. If you are in a relationship, post a list on the refrigerator and each day write one thing you appreciate about your partner. I could be, “I love her blue eyes” or “He always calls when he’s going to be late coming home.” This
Journalling: Write two pages daily. Be sure to explore the underlying reasons and feelings for reactions you have. For example, today I noticed I was complaining to myself about an acquaintance and I asked myself in my journal what was really going on. I got really clear about what was bothering me and then I asked myself what this had to do with me. For a technique for doing this, see Stop Nagging and Complaining in the Coaching section.
Walking: Walk briskly for 15 minutes each day. If it’s possible to walk up hill in your area, you might start adding an uphill circuit a 2 or 3 times this week. Don’t forget, you can take your dog or find a walking buddy for this activity.
Self Nurturing: Make a special date for yourself. You might choose to go to a movie that you’ve wanted to see but your honey has resisted. Go by yourself. Or you could set aside a whole evening to do nothing but read a great mystery. Make a special occasion that’s just for you and then do what it takes to make it happen. You might have to hire a babysitter so you can go to a café or you may need to say you want to have 2 hours alone in the house and request that everyone else find another activity. (Watch out here, when I’ve done this, the others decided to go ice skating and I wanted to do that instead of what I had planned—I went ice skating!)
Breathing: Breathe deeply for 5 minutes. Continue to expand and contract your belly as you breathe deeply. As you breathe in, rock forward and as you breathe out, rock back.
Breathe in Breathe out
Rock forward Rock back
Expand belly Contract belly
Notice as your breathe and rock if your hands are resting on your thighs. If they are, you are opening and hunching your shoulders as you rock. This has the added benefit of opening you chest to allow more room for lung expansion and it gives your heart more expansive space to beat in!
Appreciation: Make a daily appreciation list. You can keep this in your journal or you can have a separate place you keep it. Each day, review what happened the previous day and write what you really appreciate. This adds to your positive outlook, helps you live consciously, and allows you to celebrate the really fine times more than once. You get to have your cake one day and then you get to remember how great it was the next!
Journalling: Write two pages. Begin with something you appreciate from the previous day. You might write something like, “I was really happy that Susie called,” and then go on to write about why you like talking to Susie. The point of this journal is to tap into thoughts you may not be expressing.
Keep your journal in a place where you are certain no one will read it. This allows you to express exactly what you feel without worrying about offending someone or engaging in a situation before you are sure what you are feeling. Journalling is a great way to figure things out.
Walking: Walk briskly for 15 minutes every day. Be sure to have your arms free to swing. A natural gait is for opposite arm and leg to move forward at the same times. This gives your spine a nice little twist to help keep it flexible and healthy.
Self Nurturing: Buy yourself flowers. Treat yourself as though you are being courted. You are—by your self. Think of yourself in the gentlest and most loving way.
Begin by assessing what you have to do to have 17 minutes each day—seven minutes in the morning and 10 later on in the day. In first seven minutes, you will do a short breathing exercise and write for a few minutes.
I, __________________________ commit to have an additional 10 minutes in the morning. You aren’t required to do this in the morning, but most people find it sets the tone for their day and they also find that nothing crowds it out as might happen later in the day. If you have a family who are getting ready for their day at the same time, you may have to get up earlier or go into a separate room to have the quiet and privacy you’ll need.
It’s best to do the breathing first and then the journalling. Deep breathing centers you and enables you to turn your attention inward so that your journalling is more an exploration of you inner self and not a chronicle of your activities.
Week 1 Activities
Breathing: Breathe deeply for 3 minutes. Sit comfortable with you feet on the floor. As you breathe in, expand your belly. As you breathe out, contract your belly. Breathe like this for 3 minutes. Set a timer so that you don’t have to think about when the three minutes are up.
If you get a little light headed, it’s because your body isn’t accustomed to getting this much oxygen. Slow your breathing rate or breathe a little less deeply. As you continue with this practice, your body will adjust.
Appreciation: Think of one thing you appreciate every day.
Journalling: Write one page. (One 8 1/2 x 11 page or two pages of a smaller size.) Don’t think about what you should write but use this medium as a means of getting to your inner most thoughts. When you sit down to write, if nothing comes, just write what you are doing. “I’m sitting here with this blank page and writing about nothing.” You may fill up the whole page with nothing or you may prime the pump to write about something important.
Walking: Walk briskly for 10 minutes. Don’t carry anything so that your arms and swing freely. It is my belief that walking is the very best exercise you can do. Even if you go to the gym regularly, or do some other more strenuous exercise, add walking to your daily routine for duration of this program.
Self Nurturing: Buy yourself a journal—get one you really like. Make sure its something you will like to write on. For example I love the looks of journals with blank, unlined pages but I prefer to write on lined pages. I like spiral bound books because they lay flat. Since I loved school and homework, I actually like writing on notebook paper and sometimes that’s what I use for a journal.
I read this entry yesterday in Gay Hendrick’s A Year of Living Consciously and I’d like to share it with others.
When you swallow your feelings, your body begins digesting itself. Ulcers, heart disease, cancer — all have been shown to have a relationship with stress. While stress may or may not create bacteria and cause renegade genes to mutate, it undeniably creates an environment that is welcoming and supportive of physiological processes that can — that will — ultimately kill you.
If you visualize the process, you can see what repression does to the lightness and magic of the human body; imagine the sharpness of your strongest feelings, whether feelings of joy or anger or sadness. When strong, sharp feelings are hidden deep inside like shameful secrets, the feeling tear at your organs and block the path that your blood wants to travel as it gives you life.
Expression keeps you open and strong, able and ready to easily defend your physical health and emotional well-being. Instead of concentration on fighting or fleeing or owtherwise denying felings, you body is doing what it was intended for all along; living in a state of peaceful acceptance and essence.